Entry 3 pgs 42-69

Dear Journal, 

Today we had another group meeting, I'm always afraid that I'm going to be the topic of the meeting. No one ever wants to talk about themselves during this meeting, but the Nurse always picks someone to talk about. Today we were talking about Harding and his wife again. Harding is always having problems with his wife, he doesn't think he can make her happy, and that she cheats on him with other people. But before we could get started with that, McMurphy made a joke about Hardings wife and the Nurse decided to talk about McMurphy's past. It says in his file that he might be faking mental problems to get out of the work farm, where he was before. But I don't know about that, he seems pretty crazy to me.

After the Doctor and the Nurse had finished talking to McMurphy, they decided that the Doctor should go over the protocol for group meetings since McMurphy was new. I stopped listening for a while, because I've been here so long I must have heard it at least 50 times. I looked over at the Chief who was staring off into space, which he usually does, and I wondered how many times he has had to sit through this talk, since he is one of the only ones who's been here longer than me.

After the Doctor had finished talking, the group started again with the topic of Harding. Everyone started to talk about Harding and his problems, while Harding just sank lower and lower in his chair. No one likes to do that to the other patients, and everyone felt bad afterwards, but that doesn't stop them from doing it. The Nurse has us all afraid that we could be next, so whenever we aren't the topic of conversation we make sure to stay on it for as long as we can. Because when its time for a new topic anyone of us could be in Hardings spot.

After the meeting,  McMurphy went up to Harding and tried to make him feel better, it worked for the most part, but it also made Harding angry with the other patients. McMurphy told him that it was the Nurse's fault not the patients. McMurphy won't last long in this place if he keeps blaming the Nurse for everything.